While it lasted

This is probably beautiful..This waiting for a call from you..or in the least a message..where you don’t say sweet things..but you talk, where you don’t say you love me much, but you wouldn’t let me go..where you say, you appreciate my company and I say so let that be...I feel it all right in my gut..Its a storm there...everytime you come around and futile are my efforts to calm it down. The more I wish against it, the louder it roars.. I can hear something beating so fast in my chest, like it would almost wilt under the weight of uncertainty.. and what about the loss of words..I almost grope for them..and when at times I have them in plenty to run me for every breath I take...I run out of them, when I am with you...For some reason, you lose them too...
They say, its beautiful to be loving someone and they also set you limits..The problem with having liked someone so much is that, while it lasts, it expands.. It comes out of the boxes of your mind, when it need not, when it should not.
Sometimes, I feel no love for you. Sometimes, you are shut in those memory shelves and I feel no roar in my chest and feel no discomfort. I am peaceful in those moments..an undesirable peace, so to say. I know not, what I value more-is it you or is it your presence? Your presence is so ordinary and inclusive..I do not feel the need to own it. But you as You and as no one else, in your honesty,rage, saddism, thoughtfulness, discreetness are someone I would love to fall for again and again and again...
(I wrote this looong back...now time deems it fit to be published here)