The malady of being where you wanted to be

ACJ-Asian College of Journalism...Was a dream. Today I am here for over 3 months now. I dont think, I ll be able to tell, what it has been like-the whole process of a dream coming true and the truth turning sour and sometimes bitter. I am paying the price for being in the best place, I agree. But is it worth it? I couldnt afford to be pretentious enough to think I am overjoyed with my experience here. It has been gratifying,yes, and difficult both at the same time.

huh..Its not the best feeling in the world to know and realise your ordinary-ness. Then again it worsens if you start to think, you are a total misfit. Never before have I been this convinced of my being misfit. Intellectually lacking, and a sense of humour that makes people cringe...all this has led to a disturbing silence. A silence that has come from lack of necessity of words, My words.

Another reason for the pessimism stands to be the loss of what I held so close to me- the gift of writing. I must urgently find it back..I have lost it in this huge mesh of writers and their glorious work..My simple humble words feel insignificant. I have spent substantial amount of time in explaining to myself that You can learn to and you must learn to embellish your writing with what you learn here and appreciate in others. But your style is exclusive.

More complaining tomorrow...and some appreication...